“Stepping outside gives me a good dose of vitamin D and enough solar radiation to burn off the remnants of my rant. I pick up the garden hose and resolve to resume my peaceful demeanor, humming as I go.
In the very next bleeping breath, all bets are off, all hopes are dashed when (and I could not make this up), I espy another effing phone book. This one is splayed out on the garden path to the street, mocking all my fine que sera, sera. . . “